 |  Mario Lurig |
#30days30reasons* - 30 days to go
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Sometimes I'm slow to introduce her when we meet people whom I know and she does not. She forgives me every time. Maybe I'm rude, maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm afraid of not being seen as an individual and only as a couple.
Regardless of the reason, she puts on a smile and pushes out of her comfort zone and introduces herself. She makes the choice to be better together and to be seen, and beyond the guilt of my mistake, I see her.
For all the reasons I'll share and all the ones I'll keep for just us, I see her and I love her more when she calls me on my mistakes and helps me be a better version of myself.
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* This is a countdown to our wedding and a truncated list of the reasons I'm marrying Ashley Coates
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Sometimes I'm slow to introduce her when we meet people whom I know and she does not. She forgives me every time. Maybe I'm rude, maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm afraid of not being seen as an individual and only as a couple.
Regardless of the reason, she puts on a smile and pushes out of her comfort zone and introduces herself. She makes the choice to be better together and to be seen, and beyond the guilt of my mistake, I see her.
For all the reasons I'll share and all the ones I'll keep for just us, I see her and I love her more when she calls me on my mistakes and helps me be a better version of myself.
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* This is a countdown to our wedding and a truncated list of the reasons I'm marrying Ashley Coates
#30days30reasons - 29 days to go
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It'll come as no surprise to anyone that knows her that Ashley works really hard at whatever she sets her mind to. This includes working ridiculously long days and late nights sometimes.
Hard work isn't unique to Ashley, but she shares the trait with many others.
I try to stay awake, even if she's "done in an hour" and I know that means it'll be at least 2. Sometimes, I'm too tired and I can't, so I go to sleep. I feel a bit guilty, but there is one benefit.
When she comes home she sneaks into the bedroom and lays her full body on top of mine (I sleep on my stomach) like I'm an oddly shaped mattress pillow top.
I love it, and I love her. It's the greatest way to be woken up for a few seconds. :)
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It'll come as no surprise to anyone that knows her that Ashley works really hard at whatever she sets her mind to. This includes working ridiculously long days and late nights sometimes.
Hard work isn't unique to Ashley, but she shares the trait with many others.
I try to stay awake, even if she's "done in an hour" and I know that means it'll be at least 2. Sometimes, I'm too tired and I can't, so I go to sleep. I feel a bit guilty, but there is one benefit.
When she comes home she sneaks into the bedroom and lays her full body on top of mine (I sleep on my stomach) like I'm an oddly shaped mattress pillow top.
I love it, and I love her. It's the greatest way to be woken up for a few seconds. :)
#30days30reasons - 28 days to go
"Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world." - Marilyn Monroe
Ashley and I still talk about the year this photo was taken. We hiked every week for, I think, 3 months straight. What's great about this shot is that a year earlier you'd never find her this close to an edge and now she's anxious to get back on the trails.
Conquering our fears and anxieties to do new things can lead to great enjoyment and I love her for exploring her possibilities, more so when she does so with me next to her.
"Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world." - Marilyn Monroe
Ashley and I still talk about the year this photo was taken. We hiked every week for, I think, 3 months straight. What's great about this shot is that a year earlier you'd never find her this close to an edge and now she's anxious to get back on the trails.
Conquering our fears and anxieties to do new things can lead to great enjoyment and I love her for exploring her possibilities, more so when she does so with me next to her.
#30days30reasons - 27 days to go
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After our first date, Ashley flew back to Houston where she was living at the time while I stayed doing my thing in Colorado. This went on for a few months with only brief opportunities to see each other every 2 weeks.
That's pretty much a recipe for disaster for any budding relationship, but clearly, we were the exception. One of the reasons we pulled through were the text messages. SO. MANY.
So many in fact that I had to upgrade my plan with Ting from < 100 to 1000 for each month. I can't take credit for the textfest, but I enjoyed it and I love her for trying to keep our connection strong when the relationship was in its infancy and helping us get to where we are now.
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After our first date, Ashley flew back to Houston where she was living at the time while I stayed doing my thing in Colorado. This went on for a few months with only brief opportunities to see each other every 2 weeks.
That's pretty much a recipe for disaster for any budding relationship, but clearly, we were the exception. One of the reasons we pulled through were the text messages. SO. MANY.
So many in fact that I had to upgrade my plan with Ting from < 100 to 1000 for each month. I can't take credit for the textfest, but I enjoyed it and I love her for trying to keep our connection strong when the relationship was in its infancy and helping us get to where we are now.
#30days30reasons - 26 days to go
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Family can be a great benefit and a great burden.
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I love her for showing strength in one of the hardest times of her life and even more when she allowed herself to release that pressure with me. That takes trust and I was humbled.
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PHOTO: me, Malena (my father's wife), Fred (my dad), Ashley
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Family can be a great benefit and a great burden.
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I love her for showing strength in one of the hardest times of her life and even more when she allowed herself to release that pressure with me. That takes trust and I was humbled.
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PHOTO: me, Malena (my father's wife), Fred (my dad), Ashley
#30days30reasons - 25 days to go
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I love her for her buffet style eggs.
Let me explain.
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I stuck my foot in my mouth years ago when Ashley, a trained chef with additional specialty training in pastry, was making brunch for us. When she served the eggs I referred to them as 'buffet style'.
My intentions in that statement didn't match up with her interpretation. I meant that it had the consistent look and feel you would get from a commercial kitchen, like at a buffet. Even typing that now I don't know what I was thinking, but it's my brain and it does what it wants.
Ashley, of course, viewed it as me comparing her eggs to the work of some new-on-the-job underpaid line cook in a seedy kitchen.
Well, I think that's what she believed based on her reaction, I never really asked. I did, however, feel the chef knives shooting from her eyes.
I fucked up, and she's not going to ever let me forget it.
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I love her for her buffet style eggs. ;-)
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I love her for her buffet style eggs.
Let me explain.
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I stuck my foot in my mouth years ago when Ashley, a trained chef with additional specialty training in pastry, was making brunch for us. When she served the eggs I referred to them as 'buffet style'.
My intentions in that statement didn't match up with her interpretation. I meant that it had the consistent look and feel you would get from a commercial kitchen, like at a buffet. Even typing that now I don't know what I was thinking, but it's my brain and it does what it wants.
Ashley, of course, viewed it as me comparing her eggs to the work of some new-on-the-job underpaid line cook in a seedy kitchen.
Well, I think that's what she believed based on her reaction, I never really asked. I did, however, feel the chef knives shooting from her eyes.
I fucked up, and she's not going to ever let me forget it.
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I love her for her buffet style eggs. ;-)
#30days30reasons - 24 days to go
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Ashley spent her early years around the lakes in Canada and that love of lakes has never gone anywhere. It's amazing what an effect our early life experiences can have on our adult lives and preferences.
When we got around to planning the wedding she had two requests for the location: lake + mountains. That's a tall order considering my requirement was "inexpensive".
Then we found Barr Lake State Park that met all 3 requirements and our wedding planning begun.
I love her when she decides what she wants and then knows it to her core, even if the journey to deciding takes a bit. :)
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Ashley spent her early years around the lakes in Canada and that love of lakes has never gone anywhere. It's amazing what an effect our early life experiences can have on our adult lives and preferences.
When we got around to planning the wedding she had two requests for the location: lake + mountains. That's a tall order considering my requirement was "inexpensive".
Then we found Barr Lake State Park that met all 3 requirements and our wedding planning begun.
I love her when she decides what she wants and then knows it to her core, even if the journey to deciding takes a bit. :)
#30days30reasons - 23 days to go
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I love her for the passion she has for food.
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My nose can identify trash from edible. Ashley can smell a steak cooking on a grill on the other side of the condo complex.
Sure, you could say it's just biology, but you can't discount training and Ashley has put in her time.
When we travel she maps a city by the places where she wants to get a bite of great food. This sometimes includes queueing for a while, but it's not about fads, it's about quality, and she always knows where to find it.
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I love her for the passion she has for food.
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My nose can identify trash from edible. Ashley can smell a steak cooking on a grill on the other side of the condo complex.
Sure, you could say it's just biology, but you can't discount training and Ashley has put in her time.
When we travel she maps a city by the places where she wants to get a bite of great food. This sometimes includes queueing for a while, but it's not about fads, it's about quality, and she always knows where to find it.
#30days30reasons - 22 days to go
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"Hello, angel."
I've been a solo slowpreneur for 8 years, been together with Ashley for 6 of those years, and lived with her for the last 4 years. Throughout that time my reliance on her for advice has only increased.
Most of my wasted work time is due to a lack of a decision. I waste time when I'm not sure how to prioritize what I'm working on or I'm getting distracted by new things SQUIRREL.
That's when I lean on her for help. She knows (and cares) nothing for code, machine learning, or tabletop roleplaying games; nothing wrong with that, she has enough on her own plate. However, she listens as I try and break it down and then she helps by advising me on what those priorities mean and which is the better approach.
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I love her for her guidance when I'm lost.
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"Hello, angel."
I've been a solo slowpreneur for 8 years, been together with Ashley for 6 of those years, and lived with her for the last 4 years. Throughout that time my reliance on her for advice has only increased.
Most of my wasted work time is due to a lack of a decision. I waste time when I'm not sure how to prioritize what I'm working on or I'm getting distracted by new things SQUIRREL.
That's when I lean on her for help. She knows (and cares) nothing for code, machine learning, or tabletop roleplaying games; nothing wrong with that, she has enough on her own plate. However, she listens as I try and break it down and then she helps by advising me on what those priorities mean and which is the better approach.
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I love her for her guidance when I'm lost.
#30days30reasons - 3 weeks to go!
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Today's reason is fresh. I spent most of the day with Ashley, starting with a light hike to Wood's Quarry. We then had to take care of a few more things in Boulder, so we decided to grab lunch.
That's when I made a mistake which involved a small fender bender in the Snarf's parking lot (55th/Pearl, a crazy parking lot). With the upcoming nuptials, it's the last thing I needed for my wallet or my life. It weighed me down all afternoon.
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Do you know what Ashley said? "Stuff happens. Let it go for now because you can't change or do anything till the guy does his thing. " (paraphrased)
I could hear her, but I couldn't HEAR her right then and there. All I wanted was comfort food/drink, but what I needed was her. I'm listening now.
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I love her for bringing light into the dark moments in my life.
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Today's reason is fresh. I spent most of the day with Ashley, starting with a light hike to Wood's Quarry. We then had to take care of a few more things in Boulder, so we decided to grab lunch.
That's when I made a mistake which involved a small fender bender in the Snarf's parking lot (55th/Pearl, a crazy parking lot). With the upcoming nuptials, it's the last thing I needed for my wallet or my life. It weighed me down all afternoon.
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Do you know what Ashley said? "Stuff happens. Let it go for now because you can't change or do anything till the guy does his thing. " (paraphrased)
I could hear her, but I couldn't HEAR her right then and there. All I wanted was comfort food/drink, but what I needed was her. I'm listening now.
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I love her for bringing light into the dark moments in my life.
#30days30reasons - 20 days to go
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A+++ would propose to again.
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When Ashley picked up her 3rd degree I went down to Houston to celebrate her graduation. It was still young in our relationship, so the best part for me was the ceremony. J/K, all grad ceremonies are the worst.
The best part for me was a private event where she received an additional award. Not because of the accolades, but because I got to listen to others express their praise and admiration for her work ethic and the quality of work. I knew she was a perfectionist, but it's attractive to hear the way others speak about her.
I love her for her drive and exceptionalism.
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A+++ would propose to again.
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When Ashley picked up her 3rd degree I went down to Houston to celebrate her graduation. It was still young in our relationship, so the best part for me was the ceremony. J/K, all grad ceremonies are the worst.
The best part for me was a private event where she received an additional award. Not because of the accolades, but because I got to listen to others express their praise and admiration for her work ethic and the quality of work. I knew she was a perfectionist, but it's attractive to hear the way others speak about her.
I love her for her drive and exceptionalism.
#30days30reasons - 19 days to go
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I love her for her willingness to compromise.
Ashley likes boxes, or to be more exact, she likes original packaging. When there is something new, say a DVD player or a purse, she keeps it in the original packaging (after inspecting it) until its first use. Once used, if it's a box, she keeps that for an unspecified amount of time.
I understand where this comes from; she used to move a lot and so having those boxes available made that easier. We've lived in the same place together for 4 years now and she's learned to let go. Sure, for major electronics (warranty purposes) we still keep the box, but for a few months only.
I take that as a good sign. Why is it a compromise? Because I don't like keeping much of anything and keeping it a few months is a compromise for both of us, just in opposite directions.
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I love her for her willingness to compromise.
Ashley likes boxes, or to be more exact, she likes original packaging. When there is something new, say a DVD player or a purse, she keeps it in the original packaging (after inspecting it) until its first use. Once used, if it's a box, she keeps that for an unspecified amount of time.
I understand where this comes from; she used to move a lot and so having those boxes available made that easier. We've lived in the same place together for 4 years now and she's learned to let go. Sure, for major electronics (warranty purposes) we still keep the box, but for a few months only.
I take that as a good sign. Why is it a compromise? Because I don't like keeping much of anything and keeping it a few months is a compromise for both of us, just in opposite directions.
#30days30reasons - 18 days to go
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We took what can only be described as a pre-wedding honeymoon to Paris, courtesy of off-season flight deals and AirBnB rates. It was the first trip together where we both were new to the city; all previous trips one of us had been there before.
They say that this type of trip is how you know you can be together for the rest of your lives and I'm glad to say the trip went exceptionally well. I look forward to more adventures together in the future.
I love her for her companionship.
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We took what can only be described as a pre-wedding honeymoon to Paris, courtesy of off-season flight deals and AirBnB rates. It was the first trip together where we both were new to the city; all previous trips one of us had been there before.
They say that this type of trip is how you know you can be together for the rest of your lives and I'm glad to say the trip went exceptionally well. I look forward to more adventures together in the future.
I love her for her companionship.
#30days30reasons - 17 days to go
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I love her for being silly sometimes.
I can't quantify this one with a good story; it just doesn't translate well. From Ooh-la-la la-la la-la to Awe Nugget to so many others moments, in-jokes, and shared personal experiences I love laughing together. Actually, scratch that, shorten it: I love together, with her.
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I love her for being silly sometimes.
I can't quantify this one with a good story; it just doesn't translate well. From Ooh-la-la la-la la-la to Awe Nugget to so many others moments, in-jokes, and shared personal experiences I love laughing together. Actually, scratch that, shorten it: I love together, with her.
#30days30reasons - 16 days to go
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No relationship is without disagreement; it's the way you deal with that situation that defines a thriving relationship from one in trouble.
Wedding planning can be stressful, especially when both of us run our own businesses. While we both can express our frustration, we try and focus on solving the conflict that triggers the disagreement rather than making it personal and devolving it.
I love her even when we disagree.
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No relationship is without disagreement; it's the way you deal with that situation that defines a thriving relationship from one in trouble.
Wedding planning can be stressful, especially when both of us run our own businesses. While we both can express our frustration, we try and focus on solving the conflict that triggers the disagreement rather than making it personal and devolving it.
I love her even when we disagree.
#30days30reasons - 15 days to go (halfway!)
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I'd like to take a quick moment to point out that she's wearing heals here. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled reason.
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I'm a romantic, though if you're reading this that's probably little surprise to you. What also shouldn't be a surprise to those who know me is I can be super corny.
Ok, I'm a dork. Fair. But, when Ashley isn't mocking me for going too far, she's smiling or laughing. To quote a song by Blessid Union of Souls, "She loves me for me."
I love her for appreciating my corny self.
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I'd like to take a quick moment to point out that she's wearing heals here. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled reason.
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I'm a romantic, though if you're reading this that's probably little surprise to you. What also shouldn't be a surprise to those who know me is I can be super corny.
Ok, I'm a dork. Fair. But, when Ashley isn't mocking me for going too far, she's smiling or laughing. To quote a song by Blessid Union of Souls, "She loves me for me."
I love her for appreciating my corny self.
#30days30reasons - 2 weeks to go!
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Pets aren't a critical part of my life, but they are a big part of many people's lives. When getting into a serious relationship with Ashley I was also getting into a relationship with her cat, Max. Well, Sir Maxwell Kittington III to be specific.
While she can be over-protective and coddle the fella, she's not unreasonable. More importantly, when I taught him to sit, relax for getting his nails trimmed, and overall be a better roommate, Ashley's response wasn't to get upset or protective but realize the good it was doing for him and for us.
He's still a bratsky sometimes, but he's a cat. He's our cat, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I love her and our cat.
(see comments for photo)
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Pets aren't a critical part of my life, but they are a big part of many people's lives. When getting into a serious relationship with Ashley I was also getting into a relationship with her cat, Max. Well, Sir Maxwell Kittington III to be specific.
While she can be over-protective and coddle the fella, she's not unreasonable. More importantly, when I taught him to sit, relax for getting his nails trimmed, and overall be a better roommate, Ashley's response wasn't to get upset or protective but realize the good it was doing for him and for us.
He's still a bratsky sometimes, but he's a cat. He's our cat, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I love her and our cat.
(see comments for photo)
#30days30reasons - 13 days to go
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"That's such a good deal!"
My initial response to that phrase is usually, "It's a trap!" I mean, how many times is a t-shirt MSRP marked up to $45 then sold for 60% off ($18), it's real price. With Ashley, that same scenario would only get the "deal" phrase at 90% off.
She's pretty amazing at finding deals; the condo we've lived in for the last 4 years was a great price/find by her; most of the wedding purchases were found by her on a very limited budget (in wedding terms).
All this to say that while sometimes a deal slips through that falls under the "unnecessary" category, it's the oddity, not the regularity. Ashley gets beyond the psychological tricks of marketer and finds real deals.
I love her for her tenacity.
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"That's such a good deal!"
My initial response to that phrase is usually, "It's a trap!" I mean, how many times is a t-shirt MSRP marked up to $45 then sold for 60% off ($18), it's real price. With Ashley, that same scenario would only get the "deal" phrase at 90% off.
She's pretty amazing at finding deals; the condo we've lived in for the last 4 years was a great price/find by her; most of the wedding purchases were found by her on a very limited budget (in wedding terms).
All this to say that while sometimes a deal slips through that falls under the "unnecessary" category, it's the oddity, not the regularity. Ashley gets beyond the psychological tricks of marketer and finds real deals.
I love her for her tenacity.
#30days30reasons - 12 days to go
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I love her for being affectionate.
Before I met Ashley I had come to the conclusion that affection was important to me. Holding hands, hugs, cuddles, small kisses; all of the things that you usually only see out of new relationships in the early "honeymoon" phases.
With us, it's continued going on for 6 years and I couldn't be happier, especially the moments where I'm sitting or she's on a curb changing our height dynamic. Super hug good times. #corny
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I love her for being affectionate.
Before I met Ashley I had come to the conclusion that affection was important to me. Holding hands, hugs, cuddles, small kisses; all of the things that you usually only see out of new relationships in the early "honeymoon" phases.
With us, it's continued going on for 6 years and I couldn't be happier, especially the moments where I'm sitting or she's on a curb changing our height dynamic. Super hug good times. #corny
#30days30reasons - 11 days to go
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I lack the creativity of people typically labeled as an artist. Ashley has shown me some of her amazing sketches, great paintings, and of course the desserts she's invented during her career as a head pastry chef.
Artistic talents, like many talents, are a mix of natural skill, joyful curiosity, and dedication to practice. I get a genuine sense of joy when Ashley gets the opportunity (read: time) to enjoy those pursuits that clearly bring her a lot of delight. They inspire me to try and find my own creativity in whatever form I can muster.
I love her creativity. ♥
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I lack the creativity of people typically labeled as an artist. Ashley has shown me some of her amazing sketches, great paintings, and of course the desserts she's invented during her career as a head pastry chef.
Artistic talents, like many talents, are a mix of natural skill, joyful curiosity, and dedication to practice. I get a genuine sense of joy when Ashley gets the opportunity (read: time) to enjoy those pursuits that clearly bring her a lot of delight. They inspire me to try and find my own creativity in whatever form I can muster.
I love her creativity. ♥
#30days30reasons - 10 days to go
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"A moo point?"
"You know, like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo."
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For the record, I had to look up that quote. For those who don't know where it's from, it's from the 90s sitcom FRIENDS, which Ashley loves. No judgment... okay, a little judgment, but who am I to say how others should derive their joy in life?
Friends is the "Mario's not home or he's in the office" tv show that seemingly is always playing. I try very hard to get Ashley to watch something else when it's just her, but she never strays very far from her Friends.
I love her regardless of her love of Friends.
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(comments featuring Friends GIFs fully encouraged)
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"A moo point?"
"You know, like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo."
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For the record, I had to look up that quote. For those who don't know where it's from, it's from the 90s sitcom FRIENDS, which Ashley loves. No judgment... okay, a little judgment, but who am I to say how others should derive their joy in life?
Friends is the "Mario's not home or he's in the office" tv show that seemingly is always playing. I try very hard to get Ashley to watch something else when it's just her, but she never strays very far from her Friends.
I love her regardless of her love of Friends.
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(comments featuring Friends GIFs fully encouraged)
#30days30reasons - 9 days to go
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Two springs ago I went on a solo hike to South Boulder Peak. I gave myself lots of time to take the longer path and still be back, but when I reached the peak and realized that the steeper, shorter path back was in shadow and thus still covered in hard snow and ice, I knew I was in trouble. At the time I didn't have the right footgear to deal with that and suddenly things got very slow and very scary.
The sun got lower, I got more worried, and fewer and fewer people were passing me up. My lifeline was my phone and sending constant updates to Ashley who was working in Boulder.
As the sun fell away and I was still an hour (at least) from descending with no light source, a gentleman came from the peak with an extra light and we completed the descent together. I was safe and would be okay.
I realize this is a story about me, not Ashley, but for me, it was about the lifeline. I was trying to keep my shit together so I wouldn't get injured and get down as safely as possible. Keeping my head right was possible because I had the love and support of Ashley behind me.
Sometimes you love someone for selfish reasons; for the support and love they provide for you when you are most in need.
I love her for her positivity and love in my times of need.
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Two springs ago I went on a solo hike to South Boulder Peak. I gave myself lots of time to take the longer path and still be back, but when I reached the peak and realized that the steeper, shorter path back was in shadow and thus still covered in hard snow and ice, I knew I was in trouble. At the time I didn't have the right footgear to deal with that and suddenly things got very slow and very scary.
The sun got lower, I got more worried, and fewer and fewer people were passing me up. My lifeline was my phone and sending constant updates to Ashley who was working in Boulder.
As the sun fell away and I was still an hour (at least) from descending with no light source, a gentleman came from the peak with an extra light and we completed the descent together. I was safe and would be okay.
I realize this is a story about me, not Ashley, but for me, it was about the lifeline. I was trying to keep my shit together so I wouldn't get injured and get down as safely as possible. Keeping my head right was possible because I had the love and support of Ashley behind me.
Sometimes you love someone for selfish reasons; for the support and love they provide for you when you are most in need.
I love her for her positivity and love in my times of need.
#30days30reasons - 8 days to go
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I love that she has the confidence to admit when she doesn't understand or is unfamiliar with something.
We all have those moments; nobody is an expert at everything. Whether it's a word I use or some programming thing, Ashley doesn't just "Nod and smile." Granted, listening to only some of the words I'm saying probably doesn't help, but the point is she is not content to just know what she knows and no more. She knows I don't want a "Yes woman" and has no desire to be one.
That's a respectable and important quality in anyone, and I love her for it.
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I love that she has the confidence to admit when she doesn't understand or is unfamiliar with something.
We all have those moments; nobody is an expert at everything. Whether it's a word I use or some programming thing, Ashley doesn't just "Nod and smile." Granted, listening to only some of the words I'm saying probably doesn't help, but the point is she is not content to just know what she knows and no more. She knows I don't want a "Yes woman" and has no desire to be one.
That's a respectable and important quality in anyone, and I love her for it.
#30days30reasons - 1 WEEK TO GO!
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(We're in the home stretch, and I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
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I'm reading a book called "Spiced" right now. I had it with me yesterday at a coffee shop and the cashier blurted out that she had not read it, but any book with an Anthony Bourdain quote on the front has to be good.
I went on to explain that it's about a pastry chef and that Ashley had asked me to read it, because it's one of her favorite books and she strongly identifies with the author.
Anyway, the cashier and I kept talking and she summarized that I was getting to know Ashley better by reading this book.
I got defensive.
I'm not that kind of guy. I spend a lot of time enjoying getting to know every little nuance of my future wife and the worlds and lives she's lived before me. In relation to the book, I'm knowledgable on kitchen dynamics, machismo, and compulsions of perfectionists.
All that being said, it's an entertaining book; an enjoyable read that Ashley asked me to read and I'm happy to do so. I'm sure I will learn *something* new, it would be arrogant to say I wouldn't, but it's not a desperate attempt to get to know the woman I'm going to marry.
I know that woman. Her name is Ashley Laurèn Coates, she's allergic to penicillin, and if she could have sliced meat and cheeses for every meal she would. I love that woman, all of her.
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(We're in the home stretch, and I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
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I'm reading a book called "Spiced" right now. I had it with me yesterday at a coffee shop and the cashier blurted out that she had not read it, but any book with an Anthony Bourdain quote on the front has to be good.
I went on to explain that it's about a pastry chef and that Ashley had asked me to read it, because it's one of her favorite books and she strongly identifies with the author.
Anyway, the cashier and I kept talking and she summarized that I was getting to know Ashley better by reading this book.
I got defensive.
I'm not that kind of guy. I spend a lot of time enjoying getting to know every little nuance of my future wife and the worlds and lives she's lived before me. In relation to the book, I'm knowledgable on kitchen dynamics, machismo, and compulsions of perfectionists.
All that being said, it's an entertaining book; an enjoyable read that Ashley asked me to read and I'm happy to do so. I'm sure I will learn *something* new, it would be arrogant to say I wouldn't, but it's not a desperate attempt to get to know the woman I'm going to marry.
I know that woman. Her name is Ashley Laurèn Coates, she's allergic to penicillin, and if she could have sliced meat and cheeses for every meal she would. I love that woman, all of her.
#30days30reasons - 6 days to go
.
(We're in the home stretch, and I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
I love hiking with her. Today I'm actually hiking without her and I'm sad about it. Me, a social person, puts on headphones and solo hikes with podcasts because I don't have my hiking partner.
With her is the only time I don't mind listening to myself heavy breathing my way up the mountain.
I'll miss you today love and we'll be back on the mountains together next week!
.
(We're in the home stretch, and I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
I love hiking with her. Today I'm actually hiking without her and I'm sad about it. Me, a social person, puts on headphones and solo hikes with podcasts because I don't have my hiking partner.
With her is the only time I don't mind listening to myself heavy breathing my way up the mountain.
I'll miss you today love and we'll be back on the mountains together next week!
#30days30reasons - 5 days to go
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
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Here she is, just walking around a castle, in France, being silly and hot. Seriously, who wouldn't want to marry this woman?
HANDS OFF I'LL FIGHT YOU!
.
Oh, sorry, let me get my composure back. I'm getting distracted. Wait, that's okay because I find my future wife attractive. Like, lucky AF she loves me too (I'm pretty sure, I guess we'll know for sure in 5 days).
The truth is that physical attraction makes up part of the chemistry that is "us", though it's only part of the whole, and I love the entirety of her.
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
Here she is, just walking around a castle, in France, being silly and hot. Seriously, who wouldn't want to marry this woman?
HANDS OFF I'LL FIGHT YOU!
.
Oh, sorry, let me get my composure back. I'm getting distracted. Wait, that's okay because I find my future wife attractive. Like, lucky AF she loves me too (I'm pretty sure, I guess we'll know for sure in 5 days).
The truth is that physical attraction makes up part of the chemistry that is "us", though it's only part of the whole, and I love the entirety of her.
#30days30reasons - 4 days to go
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
I love her for never giving up on me, even when I am.
The short story is that I spent 2+ weeks trying to secure a dress shirt for a reasonable price that was both a French cuff and I didn't swim in due to them making the fit very big for my neck/arm measurements. This was all in the last month.
Anyway, I finally gave up because I wanted a better shirt fit more than I wanted French cuffs. I was settled and with so much to still prepare, I was giving up and moving on.
Ashley knew this. She was doing a ton of her own work for the wedding, but she still went digging around the internet to try and find another shirt for me.
I ordered it, swearing it would be the last one and she agreed. It arrived and I'm sad to report that it didn't work out; I had to give up on French cuffs because I had a personal price limit ("wedding" is not a reason for me to overspend).
The thing is, this simple story is just a tiny example of the times when I needed to push through, endure, or hope and Ashley was that for me. Sometimes it doesn't work out, sure, but I'm never without her encouragement and compassion, and I love her for it.
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
I love her for never giving up on me, even when I am.
The short story is that I spent 2+ weeks trying to secure a dress shirt for a reasonable price that was both a French cuff and I didn't swim in due to them making the fit very big for my neck/arm measurements. This was all in the last month.
Anyway, I finally gave up because I wanted a better shirt fit more than I wanted French cuffs. I was settled and with so much to still prepare, I was giving up and moving on.
Ashley knew this. She was doing a ton of her own work for the wedding, but she still went digging around the internet to try and find another shirt for me.
I ordered it, swearing it would be the last one and she agreed. It arrived and I'm sad to report that it didn't work out; I had to give up on French cuffs because I had a personal price limit ("wedding" is not a reason for me to overspend).
The thing is, this simple story is just a tiny example of the times when I needed to push through, endure, or hope and Ashley was that for me. Sometimes it doesn't work out, sure, but I'm never without her encouragement and compassion, and I love her for it.
#30days30reasons - 3 days to go
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
This is what unbridled joy looks like. This photo has so much to unpack. The joy on Ashley's face completing a puzzle, Her desire to share the photo with Max and his desire to not be there, the small table we bought just so Ashley would have a dedicated puzzle/craft space, the Supergirl puzzle which is how I think of Ashley, especially considering all the work she's doing with Lovin' Oven. Like I said, lots to unpack.
If the wedding wasn't being held outside, we probably would have had a puzzle table for everyone to enjoy. Puzzle love runs deep.
I'm not sure where I'm going with is. Honestly, these posts are more stream of consciousness as we close in on the wedding.
I guess I'm saying that this picture SAYS more than any other picture, at least to me, and it always puts a smile on my face.
.
Maybe that's what it's all about: Those moments when you look at your partner in those small moments of life and your heart explodes with joy as endorphins course through your veins; for unexplainable ways except to say that you love them, you just do.
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
This is what unbridled joy looks like. This photo has so much to unpack. The joy on Ashley's face completing a puzzle, Her desire to share the photo with Max and his desire to not be there, the small table we bought just so Ashley would have a dedicated puzzle/craft space, the Supergirl puzzle which is how I think of Ashley, especially considering all the work she's doing with Lovin' Oven. Like I said, lots to unpack.
If the wedding wasn't being held outside, we probably would have had a puzzle table for everyone to enjoy. Puzzle love runs deep.
I'm not sure where I'm going with is. Honestly, these posts are more stream of consciousness as we close in on the wedding.
I guess I'm saying that this picture SAYS more than any other picture, at least to me, and it always puts a smile on my face.
.
Maybe that's what it's all about: Those moments when you look at your partner in those small moments of life and your heart explodes with joy as endorphins course through your veins; for unexplainable ways except to say that you love them, you just do.
Timeline photos
#30days30reasons - 2 days to go
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
Ashley is more likely to be found elbows deep in an 80-quart mixer and marked by sheet pan burns then she is getting a mani/pedi. Though, as this picture shows, she can still throwdown. That versatility is awesome and I'm never one to underestimate her in anything she does.
.
In the last week, the top question I've been asked is, "Are you nervous?" Short answer: no.
I'm excited. I think this will be a really fun event. I'm not nervous or worried about getting married; I feel like I've been married to Ashley for years now since we've shared a home and our lives for a few years.
.
When I proposed to her, her enthusiastic first word after I popped the question was probably exactly what you're thinking:" What?" Yeah, took a while for her to actually say "Yes" and frankly, my memory has stolen the entire exchange of words from my head. I guess I had to keep earning it, but I'll strap on my boots, load my weapons of love and fight for her, now and forever.
(I've saved my favorite pictures for this week)
.
Ashley is more likely to be found elbows deep in an 80-quart mixer and marked by sheet pan burns then she is getting a mani/pedi. Though, as this picture shows, she can still throwdown. That versatility is awesome and I'm never one to underestimate her in anything she does.
.
In the last week, the top question I've been asked is, "Are you nervous?" Short answer: no.
I'm excited. I think this will be a really fun event. I'm not nervous or worried about getting married; I feel like I've been married to Ashley for years now since we've shared a home and our lives for a few years.
.
When I proposed to her, her enthusiastic first word after I popped the question was probably exactly what you're thinking:" What?" Yeah, took a while for her to actually say "Yes" and frankly, my memory has stolen the entire exchange of words from my head. I guess I had to keep earning it, but I'll strap on my boots, load my weapons of love and fight for her, now and forever.
Timeline photos
#30days30reasons - Wedding is tomorrow!
(This is the final post of the series)
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Ashley's in the kitchen finishing up the desserts for the wedding. If that sounds crazy to you, you're right. The thing is, it's important for her to showcase what she loves for the wedding. I think she would rather NOT get married then let anyone else control the desserts for the wedding (yes, she made a small wedding cake too using a decorating method she had never done before yesterday).
The most telling detail is that she woke up and popped into the kitchen with a big smile and some pep in her step. It's a labor of love.
.
"It's what people do, not what they say, that matters." She shows me every day how she feels about the big day and about me and it feels good. I try not to take it for granted, but I also make sure to accept that gift.
.
Tomorrow we stand in front of most of our familes and a few of our friends and publicly declare our love and commitment to each other. It's not for each other; we already know this to our core. None-the-less, I'm excited about the ceremony and sharing "us" with everyone.
.
Thank you to Ashley for being part of my life, now and forever, and thank you to everyone reading these posts and getting to know the woman I love; I promise you it was worth your time.
.
With love and honesty,
Mario Andreas (Andy) Lurig
(This is the final post of the series)
.
Ashley's in the kitchen finishing up the desserts for the wedding. If that sounds crazy to you, you're right. The thing is, it's important for her to showcase what she loves for the wedding. I think she would rather NOT get married then let anyone else control the desserts for the wedding (yes, she made a small wedding cake too using a decorating method she had never done before yesterday).
The most telling detail is that she woke up and popped into the kitchen with a big smile and some pep in her step. It's a labor of love.
.
"It's what people do, not what they say, that matters." She shows me every day how she feels about the big day and about me and it feels good. I try not to take it for granted, but I also make sure to accept that gift.
.
Tomorrow we stand in front of most of our familes and a few of our friends and publicly declare our love and commitment to each other. It's not for each other; we already know this to our core. None-the-less, I'm excited about the ceremony and sharing "us" with everyone.
.
Thank you to Ashley for being part of my life, now and forever, and thank you to everyone reading these posts and getting to know the woman I love; I promise you it was worth your time.
.
With love and honesty,
Mario Andreas (Andy) Lurig
Timeline photos
**We're Married!**
Wedding attendees: You can share your wedding photos! Don't forget to upload them as well for us to collect (see your email for instructions).
Here's a quick photo from Stuart Petropoulos featuring the delicious dinner we had from The French Twist Food Truck!
Wedding attendees: You can share your wedding photos! Don't forget to upload them as well for us to collect (see your email for instructions).
Here's a quick photo from Stuart Petropoulos featuring the delicious dinner we had from The French Twist Food Truck!
Married Ashley Coates
Timeline photos
Five Reasons the Wedding was Awesome
#5 - Money
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(Ashley and I accept the challenge from Joy Carletti and together came up with these #5days5reasons)
-----
Total money spent towards the Friday night wedding ceremony and reception (50 guests) as well as the Saturday brunch (35 guests): $4,245.81. That includes everything, even Ashley's dress. We tracked it all.
We will be trying to recoup up to 25% of those costs by reselling many items bringing the final spend even lower.
.
We pulled this off by relentlessly hunting down deals on Craigslist, FB Marketplace, and at thrift stores, buying when we can resell, renting when needed, borrowing when possible, making things ourselves, and getting a lot of help from friends (more on that with reason #1).
Most importantly, we focused on putting together a wedding that we would be proud of and also represented us and Colorado. Most guests were coming in from out of town and we really wanted to make it worth it for them.
.
Secondarily, we have planned visits to Canada (September) and Orlando (early 2019) so more friends can share in our wedding celebrations at a much smaller cost: The two of us traveling to you rather than the other way around. That's part of the money saving features that were important to us: reducing the costs to our friends and family as well.
.
Tomorrow we talk about #4... weather!
-----
Photo credit: Stuart Petropoulos
#5 - Money
-----
(Ashley and I accept the challenge from Joy Carletti and together came up with these #5days5reasons)
-----
Total money spent towards the Friday night wedding ceremony and reception (50 guests) as well as the Saturday brunch (35 guests): $4,245.81. That includes everything, even Ashley's dress. We tracked it all.
We will be trying to recoup up to 25% of those costs by reselling many items bringing the final spend even lower.
.
We pulled this off by relentlessly hunting down deals on Craigslist, FB Marketplace, and at thrift stores, buying when we can resell, renting when needed, borrowing when possible, making things ourselves, and getting a lot of help from friends (more on that with reason #1).
Most importantly, we focused on putting together a wedding that we would be proud of and also represented us and Colorado. Most guests were coming in from out of town and we really wanted to make it worth it for them.
.
Secondarily, we have planned visits to Canada (September) and Orlando (early 2019) so more friends can share in our wedding celebrations at a much smaller cost: The two of us traveling to you rather than the other way around. That's part of the money saving features that were important to us: reducing the costs to our friends and family as well.
.
Tomorrow we talk about #4... weather!
-----
Photo credit: Stuart Petropoulos
Timeline photos
Five Reasons the Wedding was Awesome #5days5reasons
#4 - Weather
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Ashley, myself, and my best man David started loading vehicles at 8am to start setting up the venue. Winds were calm, clouds kept us cool, and we got to work.
By noon the wind started to pick up. Vases with flowers started tipping over and spilling water. Tablecloths blowing around, one of the highball glasses crashed to the ground and broke.
By 2pm the rains came in. Alanis playing in my head, it was time to get ready and hope for the best.
.
At 5pm we were an hour out from the ceremony and things had changed dramatically. The rain stopped. The clouds cleared. The sun shone down. We still had wind (Ashley's veil became the wind flag of the ceremony), but that was handled due to some clothespins on the tablecloths and a well-built arch/decorations.
The weather was perfect. A rollercoaster, but perfect.
#4 - Weather
-----
Ashley, myself, and my best man David started loading vehicles at 8am to start setting up the venue. Winds were calm, clouds kept us cool, and we got to work.
By noon the wind started to pick up. Vases with flowers started tipping over and spilling water. Tablecloths blowing around, one of the highball glasses crashed to the ground and broke.
By 2pm the rains came in. Alanis playing in my head, it was time to get ready and hope for the best.
.
At 5pm we were an hour out from the ceremony and things had changed dramatically. The rain stopped. The clouds cleared. The sun shone down. We still had wind (Ashley's veil became the wind flag of the ceremony), but that was handled due to some clothespins on the tablecloths and a well-built arch/decorations.
The weather was perfect. A rollercoaster, but perfect.
Timeline photos
Five Reasons the Wedding was Awesome #5days5reasons
#3 - Local
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We wanted to showcase Colorado as much as possible, so much so that we did a hike on Saturday after the brunch (wedding was Friday night). Here's a list of the ways we did that:
- Rocky Mountain Soda Company with their many delicious flavors
- Third Street iced tea
- Local honey for tea sweetener (though we should have just gotten it from our friend and beekeper Linda)
- Local breweries (alas, only bigger names had 3.2 beer)
- Our guestbook was a locally made wooden Colorado flag and it is awesome
- Wood cuts for table decorations were fresh cut by a tree removal service in the area
- Used local talent to put together the bouquets (though Ashley had to fix one poor choice that person made)
- We had a map of our hikes (with pictures) on a local Boulder/Denver/Nederland area map with push pins.
- Our brunch included noosa yoghurt
- The hike was Royal Arch at Chautauqua Park
- Our favor was trail mix (Costco) repackaged nicer, but the label was a cutout from a Colorado map.
Anyway, we think this state is pretty expensive... uh, I mean amazing, so we were thrilled to showcase it a bit.
-----
Photo credit: Jeff Caplan
#3 - Local
-----
We wanted to showcase Colorado as much as possible, so much so that we did a hike on Saturday after the brunch (wedding was Friday night). Here's a list of the ways we did that:
- Rocky Mountain Soda Company with their many delicious flavors
- Third Street iced tea
- Local honey for tea sweetener (though we should have just gotten it from our friend and beekeper Linda)
- Local breweries (alas, only bigger names had 3.2 beer)
- Our guestbook was a locally made wooden Colorado flag and it is awesome
- Wood cuts for table decorations were fresh cut by a tree removal service in the area
- Used local talent to put together the bouquets (though Ashley had to fix one poor choice that person made)
- We had a map of our hikes (with pictures) on a local Boulder/Denver/Nederland area map with push pins.
- Our brunch included noosa yoghurt
- The hike was Royal Arch at Chautauqua Park
- Our favor was trail mix (Costco) repackaged nicer, but the label was a cutout from a Colorado map.
Anyway, we think this state is pretty expensive... uh, I mean amazing, so we were thrilled to showcase it a bit.
-----
Photo credit: Jeff Caplan
Timeline photos
Five Reasons the Wedding was Awesome #5days5reasons
#2 - Food
-----
Food for the wedding was delicious, according to us and our guests. It can be broken down into 3 sections.
1) Reception Dinner
The dinner was put together by the chef at The French Twist Food Truck, Michael DeBoer. We each provided a list of 10ish items we would love to eat on our wedding day and he took that as inspiration to put together a theme and a menu we would love, within our budget. This included a lamb dish, a sea bass dish, and a chicken fettuccini alfredo (a personal favorite) as the main course, with two accompanying salads. There was also an escargot and pommes frites appetizer course.
Most importantly, there were real options and backup options from his food truck to satisfy vegetarians, vegans, and gluten-free preferences. AFAIK nobody was without food they could enjoy. The reason it was so good? We gave over creative control to the chef. We trusted him and it paid in spades.
2) Reception Dessert (or for Sabine Johansson, main course)
Courtesy of Ashley (aka Pastry Coates) in two ways: through Lovin' Oven (her business) and a lot of time in the kitchen, it included lots of Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free, and even vegan options. Overall there were strawberry and chocolate cupcakes, lemon meringue tarts, shortbread cookies, strawberry mascarpone cheesecakes, oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies, and Bailey's chocolate cheesecakes.
3) Saturday Brunch
This was where I got to do me. I love making breakfast for folks. This included bagels and cream cheese from Big Daddy Bagels, assorted cut fruits (Ashley prep), and then hot items: Mario's scrambled eggs (seasonings: Adobo, Italian, black pepper, salt, red pepper), diced potatoes, sauteed onions and bell peppers, chicken sausage (Costco), and BACON.
Special thanks to Jamie from Schnibs Pretzels (and a bridesmaid) who not only helped with the bacon prep and service but made 100% of the Cuban pastries (guava, guava/cream cheese, cream cheese).
We all ate well.
-----
Photo credit: Noelle Dykman
#2 - Food
-----
Food for the wedding was delicious, according to us and our guests. It can be broken down into 3 sections.
1) Reception Dinner
The dinner was put together by the chef at The French Twist Food Truck, Michael DeBoer. We each provided a list of 10ish items we would love to eat on our wedding day and he took that as inspiration to put together a theme and a menu we would love, within our budget. This included a lamb dish, a sea bass dish, and a chicken fettuccini alfredo (a personal favorite) as the main course, with two accompanying salads. There was also an escargot and pommes frites appetizer course.
Most importantly, there were real options and backup options from his food truck to satisfy vegetarians, vegans, and gluten-free preferences. AFAIK nobody was without food they could enjoy. The reason it was so good? We gave over creative control to the chef. We trusted him and it paid in spades.
2) Reception Dessert (or for Sabine Johansson, main course)
Courtesy of Ashley (aka Pastry Coates) in two ways: through Lovin' Oven (her business) and a lot of time in the kitchen, it included lots of Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free, and even vegan options. Overall there were strawberry and chocolate cupcakes, lemon meringue tarts, shortbread cookies, strawberry mascarpone cheesecakes, oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies, and Bailey's chocolate cheesecakes.
3) Saturday Brunch
This was where I got to do me. I love making breakfast for folks. This included bagels and cream cheese from Big Daddy Bagels, assorted cut fruits (Ashley prep), and then hot items: Mario's scrambled eggs (seasonings: Adobo, Italian, black pepper, salt, red pepper), diced potatoes, sauteed onions and bell peppers, chicken sausage (Costco), and BACON.
Special thanks to Jamie from Schnibs Pretzels (and a bridesmaid) who not only helped with the bacon prep and service but made 100% of the Cuban pastries (guava, guava/cream cheese, cream cheese).
We all ate well.
-----
Photo credit: Noelle Dykman
Timeline photos
Five Reasons the Wedding was Awesome #5days5reasons
#1 - Friends & Family
-----
Besides simply attending, the best example of how important friends and family were to the event was at the end of the wedding reception. At 9pm we had to clean up and be out by 10pm.
15 minutes after the cleanup started, suddenly the entire reception setup was torn down. A full hive of worker bees lending a hand.
This was repeated in setup for the brunch when, as we were getting everything into the space, multiple hands were setting tables, organizing the food tables, etc. It was a heartwarming sight.
There were other moments too: family holding down the tables when the wind picked up, running the music, the wedding party solving issues with grace and speed...
.
I honestly couldn't list it all, but we sure felt loved and we both appreciated every time someone contributed to the success of the event. The wedding was awesome because the people who surround ourselves with are awesome. That includes those of you reading this, even if you didn't attend and thus couldn't have lent a hand; we know you would have if you were there and that's why we call you friends, family, and the best people we know.
Sincerely,
Ashley & Mario
PS
Seriously Joy, we're done. No more XdaysXreasons. :)
-----
Photo credit: Alex Templeton
#1 - Friends & Family
-----
Besides simply attending, the best example of how important friends and family were to the event was at the end of the wedding reception. At 9pm we had to clean up and be out by 10pm.
15 minutes after the cleanup started, suddenly the entire reception setup was torn down. A full hive of worker bees lending a hand.
This was repeated in setup for the brunch when, as we were getting everything into the space, multiple hands were setting tables, organizing the food tables, etc. It was a heartwarming sight.
There were other moments too: family holding down the tables when the wind picked up, running the music, the wedding party solving issues with grace and speed...
.
I honestly couldn't list it all, but we sure felt loved and we both appreciated every time someone contributed to the success of the event. The wedding was awesome because the people who surround ourselves with are awesome. That includes those of you reading this, even if you didn't attend and thus couldn't have lent a hand; we know you would have if you were there and that's why we call you friends, family, and the best people we know.
Sincerely,
Ashley & Mario
PS
Seriously Joy, we're done. No more XdaysXreasons. :)
-----
Photo credit: Alex Templeton